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Not all Years Sparkle: An End of Year Reflection- D Amanor

 

It is the end of the year, and as always, I am struck by the inevitable need to reflect. Reflection, I have come to realize, is both an act of courage and one of self-love. It is not easy to sit with oneself, to peel back the layers of emotional residue that have accumulated over the year, and to confront the truths that lie within.

 

But sit, I must. Sit with the grief that has been consuming me for months- Sit with the anger that I have tucked away for fear it might be too much for the world. Sit with the frustration, the pain, the unkindness. Sit with all of it and feel it, truly feel it.

 

However, this society forces us to grow numb, It urges a swift dismissal of what hurts, To bury our pain beneath a mask of productivity, To act as though nothing happened, To sweep our emotions under the rug- But truth is, the only way to move forward is to move through, to wade into the murky waters of uncomfortable emotions and make sense of them.

 

This, I admit, is not easy. It is easier to fall for the distraction from the noise of the world, to let the year’s chaos drown out the voice within. It is easier to not process our emotions, to let the patterns of the past settle into the folds of the future. But easier is not always better. And so, I ask of myself—and perhaps of you,—a certain harsh honesty.What needs to be felt deeply? What needs to be processed, What needs to be released? What will it take to move through,rather than around it?”

 

At this time of the year, conversations are often filled with talk of achievements—moments that sparkle against the backdrop of twelve long months. But not all years sparkle. For some, this has been a year of grief and loss, of pain and unkindness. If that has been your year, let me say this: surviving is enough. The act of being here, of enduring, is a triumph. Survival is its own quiet magic.

 

Yet even as we honor the weight of this year, we must also look forward. How can we step into the new year with intention? How can we show up better for ourselves, and for the people we love? And perhaps most importantly, how can we teach others to show up for us in ways that honor who we truly are?

 

And through it all, I remind myself—and you, too—to breathe. To truly breathe. It sounds simple, but it is not. This year may have been so full—of doing, enduring, striving—that the simple act of drawing a deep breath has been forgotten. So, breathe. Breathe in the lessons, the love, the hard-earned wisdom. Breathe out the fear, the doubt, the exhaustion.

Breathe, because you deserve it.

Hanson D. Amanor

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